Rape Porn

Rape Porn

My post content The first encounter I had with full sex was a simulated rape. It was made as erotic entertainment and I was nine. I'd seen films where women befell similar fates yet the context was different. I'd never seen a woman kick and struggle for so long and when it was over she had no story-line. She was simply raped by a gang of men. Out of the amassed porn online this is the one I remember most vividly.

At the time I never told my parents or friends. I was distressed for sure but couldn't verbalise what I'd seen. I'll always feel in some way as if it was my duty as that child to tell somebody. It's been only five years since the government in the United Kingdom banned possessing copies of rape porn. I feel that puts in perspective the accepted attitudes and difficulties in speaking up against something so violent and hushed, and the fear of an attacker, however near or far from your world, coming after you.



Years later, I experienced my own. Not as violent as the one I had seen but something I'll always remember as not having a choice in. Only wishing I could get taken to somewhere safe, no sex involved. The world takes advantage of the vulnerable, may times and sometimes without realising it.

What happened damaged my mind and relationship to myself for a long time. I hope that this part of my life translates into my work, as I feel we become what we make of ourselves.